my msn refuses to let me log in. -_- need to send this crap in for servicing soon anyway. oh well.

Ah. Finally a short break. and it's really short. i've got 3 exams within the next 2 weeks. pffft. i'm just glad i pulled through the arduous and mad sem with mat. i think i would have been quite quick to relac if not for her. as in give up when the hell weeks started. so thank God for her! =D

then again, always not picking up the phone......

she says my english is chuiii. i think it is becoming damn chui. nvm. study first.

why don't i blog?
i guess i just have a lot on my hands, typically.

it's only when i'm emo that i drop everything i have on hand, voluntarily or not, or when i'm bored and have nothing to do, then i blog.

i don't know if this is such a good habit cos afterall, i do want to store my thoughts somewhere to look back upon.

on hindsight by reading this blog, my life is quite pitiful, esp if i don't read past the fact that my "sad" blog posts are typically far apart. Then again, i've been reminded ever so frequently that my life is actually not too bad. not TOO bad at all. =) (besides the fact now that i'm buried to the neck in work and i'm so fugging tired and my laptop is always threatening to crash on me. LIKE NOW)

i miss spending quality time with mat. i do spend normal and rather happy times with my family but i love the time i spend with mat. okay la, when we're stressed and tired, we tend to gnarl at each other. haha. but i think it's quite funny and sweet and cute in a way. =)

i love her. sometimes i know why, sometimes i don't. when i don't, it doesn't mean that she's being crappy or lousy or anything. i just can't put my finger on why i do love her. i just do. i love the gazillion things that make her, her. i probably hate a million of them, but i love the (gazillion - 1million) things about her.

okay, i don't know why i suddenly got an urge to blog. but now, i'm feeling narcoleptic and must sleep.

=)

for all the happy times, thank you.
for making me a better person, thank you.
for growing up with me, thank you.
for picking me up when i'm feeling down, thank you.
for helping me with me workload, thank you.
for LOVING ME SOOOOO MUCH, thank you!

for letting me know you, and love you, thank you sayang. =)

you make my life so much better.
(i'm sorry you sound like a washing machine with that last line.)

I LOVE YOU!

how blessed am i? buried in love.
i smile when i think of my mattie
and i bet she does the same for me.

some ups and downs at home. but nothing unsolvable. sometimes a stone needs to lean on something as well. that's what my mattie is. a STONE REST. other times she just leans on me. and i'll be a boulder for her. a floating boulder. cos i never want to weigh her down.

what a miraculous love. =)

something terrible happened today. my first reaction was anger. my second reaction was telling myself to be calm. maybe i should have allowed myself to be rash. maybe then i would have gone over.

it sucks to do the wrong thing. fucking irritating.

i'm sorry sayang.

i wish.........

everyone expects me to solve their problems. but what about mine? am i allowed to have any?

feel like shit.

and yet i can't help making mistakes. sometimes i make myself feel like shit. sometimes, shit is just forced onto me.

what're my options now? can i be calm and take things easy? argh.